301: 20 years married to an entrepreneur. My husband & I answer your questions

20 Years Married: Real Talk on Love, Business, and Building a Life Together

In a special milestone episode of the Her Empire Builder Show, host Tina Tower is joined by her husband, Mat Tower, for a candid and heartfelt conversation in celebration of their 20th wedding anniversary. For over 300 episodes, listeners have heard Tina’s take on entrepreneurship, ambition, and family life—but never have they heard from the man who's been alongside her for every step, twist, and leap over the last two decades.

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s really like to pursue big dreams, raise a family, and break the mold with your partner, you’ll find honest, relatable insights in this episode recapped below.

Navigating Parenting and Ambition

Tina and Mat open by addressing a listener’s deeply personal question about juggling young children (including those with additional needs), business ambitions, and the day-to-day grind—when both partners are working full-time. Tina emphasizes the importance of recognizing that not everyone has the same circumstances: “Every woman has the same 24 hours” does not apply to all, especially when extra demands come into the picture. Her advice? Seek out help where possible—hire in the business, outsource at home, and remember that life happens in seasons. Sometimes, it’s about getting through the tough years and knowing things will shift as kids grow.

The Secret to Not Driving Each Other Crazy

Spending so much time together—breakfast, lunch (sometimes dinner!), and working from home—could spell disaster for some couples, but Tina and Mat have discovered their own rhythm. “We could never have an office in the same space,” Tina laughs, sharing that clear boundaries (like separate workspaces) and respecting each other’s needs are crucial. Communication and giving each other autonomy is a recurring theme; as Mat puts it, “Just trust the other one’s doing the right thing and leave it.”

Entrepreneurial Beginnings & Money Matters

The early days of entrepreneurship can be tough—emotionally and financially. Mat opens up about what it was like to support Tina when her businesses weren’t making money and everything seemed uncertain. The key for the Towers? Open, honest communication and a unified vision—even when blind faith was required. They discuss the importance of sharing both dreams and financial realities, and the evolution from “yours and mine” to joint goals. Mat’s advice: “You just go in it together. Would you rather try and maybe fail, or never take the chance?” Tina adds that over-communicating with the whole family—making business a team journey—helped everyone feel included.

Managing Gender Roles and Stereotypes

Mat gets candid about working in Tina’s business and the occasional societal awkwardness it brings (“How are you going to still feel like a man?” he was once asked). He laughs off such notions, suggesting it’s all about self-confidence, respect, and focusing on what works for your own partnership—not external opinions. Their relationship thrives on complementary skills rather than competing in the same areas. The couple challenges traditional gender roles, and their openness seems to have taught their sons to value individuality and pursue what makes them happy, regardless of stereotypes.

The Realities of Happiness in Marriage

Are they really as happy as they seem? By their own admission, not always—every marriage has its ups and downs. The Towers’ philosophy is to address misalignment quickly, talk things out honestly, and never stay stuck in an unhappy rut out of fear of change. From moving homes 11 times to taking a family sabbatical and pivoting together when needed, adaptability is their superpower. Above all, they let each other be authentic and continue to grow, both together and individually.

Lessons Learned from 20 Years Together

Tina and Mat share that the key to their long, happy marriage isn’t a single secret, but a blend of respect, teamwork, clear boundaries, open communication, and unwavering support for each other’s dreams—even when those dreams look unpredictable. For those on the entrepreneurial path with a partner: keep talking, respect your differences, find ways to support each other’s needs (even if it’s just setting up a personal safety net savings account), and never stop evolving together.

Whether you’re just starting out or 20 years into your journey, this episode is packed with raw, real-world advice—plus a few wild travel stories (camel pasta in Mongolia, anyone?)—that will make you laugh, reflect, and maybe even share with your own partner.